I have to forgive myself ....

By Barbara Christensen - 7:19 PM

I Have To Forgive Myself

There was a quote I heard recently that says: 

"I remember the day I first looked into your eyes
and felt my life flip. " - unknown 

So many people sat that we choose our emotions, but not the real ones. The emotions we choose are illusions. These emotions keep up stagnant and stuck. They are the emotions connected to our traumas and our attachment patterns. 

Real emotions we don't choose. They just are. You may look into someone's eyes and realize it is over. You may look into someone's eyes and realize you're in love. These are real. You may choose to stay in a situation that is over, usually due to burying your true emotions with fears and fantasy. Within, you'll still know it's over. 

In a way then, it is a gift if someone doesn't love you that they let you know. As much of a gift as being told someone loves you. True emotions break the illusion, and even in what feels worse is meant to make your authentic life better. 

So I need to apologize to myself for the layers of hurtful illusions I have buried your truth under. You knew the truth all along, my ego just wouldn't have any of that out of pain and fear. I don't fear abandonment, just loneliness and longing. I can't hate those that have hurt me, not loved me, found the wounds and stuck salt in them. You were showing me the cracks to seal. 

Real emotion is going to create change even if you try to bury it. The energy frequencies of the universe are more powerful than you know. 

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