One day most of us will have the honor of watching our children go through their own love based relationships. My daughter has been dating the most wonderful guy for two years, and I have loved watching them grow and develop. Most of all, though, I have realized how important it is to heal your ancestral and lifetime wounds to keep the cycle from continuing for them.

When a child is in a self-parented space, has generational addiction issues or has parents that divorce, they often carry fear of abandonment into their adult relationships. If they then have the additional baggage of their own broken relationships at some point it will impact they way they parent. It will impact the way they build friendships, partner with lovers, or even work with colleagues. Added fear can create a layer of guilt, regret, even betrayal. So I have watched her friends and her relationship and have seen where these inner child wounds are being repeated. Gratefully she sees that as well.

Did I just say that? Yes. I am very open with my daughter and she and I have a very honest relationship. She knows where I have failed, she knows about my DNA, my addictions and the wounds I have healed and am healing. My ACE score is a 9 only because it was just after 18 that my family member went to jail long term. I know that my lessons are what lead me to the path of healer that I am on now. Still, I have apologized in those instances where I have been in my inner child wounding, and even apologized for others that cannot to help give her closure. Because as parents you should know that not everyone can give your child closure for their wounds. When an adult lies, when a friend isn't healing, when those emotional arrows have been sent - sometimes we have to be the bigger person as a stand-in for those that are just not there. It is okay to use the moment to teach others to be healthier, and create healthier boundaries as well.

Months ago she heard a lie about me, and it has been weighing heavily on her mind, and as I have seen, her relationship. When I overheard something I nudged until she finally came clean. I was able to not only explain it to her, show her proof that what she had heard was a lie, but also give her closure as to why someone would do that. Fear, addictions, inner child wounds, repeating cycles. When you are not healed and your back is against the wall - we act away from our accordance with who we really are as soul beings.This is our inner demons and not our true self. This conversation was deep and it allowed her to see things differently, it cleared emotional pain she was carrying around, and long term it will help her to have healthier boundaries and see things being repeated clearer. This is why we are open and honest, and make amends in front of our children, because most adults forget that those tiny ears area always listening. 

After the conversation it weighed on my heart for days. I finally took a journey and asked Spirit, what do I need to surrender to in my life here? What I was shown was to just be because blessings will come from this and everything will eventually be righted. When we are right, when we are high frequency, things will either rise up to meet us, or fade away. This is part of what I teach you do in the Shamanic Sacred Space events on Zoom. I danced with my granddaughter in that journey, and then looked into her little sibling's face. I will let that memory fill up my cup until we get there, but it was a beautiful journey.

I have been working for the last few years in the shamanic apprenticeship and my daughter has been watching me learn, heal and clear my own energy. As it helped me, she has asked for me to work with her. We've done so much, and last night she came to me and asked if I could clear her energy. Then she decided she wanted to learn how to do it herself. She sent healing energy to her friends, cleared herself, cleared her room, cleared her phone and her social media accounts, and I don't know when I have ever been so proud.

This weekend I am doing an Elemental Cleansing on her, and I cannot wait. As we honor those we love the most, we change the future. It is a little bit epigenetics, a little bit woo woo, and a little bit of magic.

Barbara xx