Unloved...
... no amado / sin amor... non aimé
... ungeliebt
... non amato
... não amado
deprived of love ...
The ones who weave you in and out of their life for years... their inability or unwillingness to communicate care honestly, and the sting of suddenly giving someone else the “title" speaks deeply to the emotional state that “unloved” captures.
You were there, but not received. You offered emotional intimacy, honesty, and depth. These things we reserve for people we deeply care for. And yet, it didn't meet you there. “Unloved” in this sense isn’t about being unworthy of love, but about giving love where it wasn’t held, mirrored, or honored.
You were known, but not claimed. Years of emotional entanglement without a commitment, and now ... it leaves a wound. It makes you wonder, was I ever enough? This is the heart of geliebt (German for "loved") turned into ungeliebt: you were in proximity, but not embraced in the way your heart needed.
You were honest, but not validated. You showed up emotionally vulnerable. But someone who can’t acknowledge your value or your pain makes you feel like your love existed in a vacuum. That’s the soul of non aimé (French): love that floats unacknowledged.
You were chosen repeatedly, but never chosen fully. The back-and-forth, the emotional breadcrumbing are patterns that echo of not being loved. They might have enjoyed your presence, even needed it at times, but did not ever fully open their heart to see you.
You still hurt, even though you know the ways you destroyed yourself for them wasn’t healthy for you, that hurt is your nervous system remembering every instance of emotional abandonment, all compressed into the moment you heard the swift energy for someone else. That hurt speaks in every language of “unloved.”
But please know this... You are not unloved. You were underloved by them. You were never aligned fully, not unworthy. And you are still learning what it means to be loved in the way your soul deserves.
The pain and the ache still sting. It may always. But you ... you are worthy.
Here's a prayer to whisper to your heart.
I release you not because you deserve it, but because I do.
I release the hope that you’d ever meet me in the depth I offered.
I call back every piece of me I gave while waiting for you to rise.
I send your new love light, not because I wish it well, but because I wish me peace.
Your story in my life may end here, but mine is still unfolding.
They avoided your depth because that feels safer than facing someone who sees them like you did. Grieve for the parts of you that stayed hopeful, even when you knew they couldn’t meet you. It’s pain for the emotional labor you invested, the emotional waiting you endured, the silent what-ifs that now have nowhere to land.
You don’t have to forgive them tonight. You don’t have to feel “done.” But you can start to cut the cord of emotional obligation, while keeping the cord of love.
