What does slow love give me the chance to notice, feel, or heal… that fast love never did?

I still feel the adrenaline pings in my heart space when I think about him sometimes, she says. And I still craves some of the faster pace. Am I capable to have a real, secure relationship?

You still feel the adrenaline pings in your heart space, because your nervous system is still wired in some of the old chaos-driven love. The body craves the urgency, the highs, the longing, the intensity. You can't live a lifetime in dysfunctional relationships where abuse and trauma were normalized and not feel some of that residue

 Your nervous system is detoxing. You’re walking through a door into a love that’s slower, quieter… and your system doesn’t quite know what to do with it fully,  yet. This is a trauma echo

The mind says: “This love feels safe.”

The body says: “Wait, where’s the chase? The dopamine hit? The drama?”

You’re biologically wired to associate adrenaline with connection because of the experiences you lived through. Healing means you are learning how to replace adrenaline with oxytocin and grounding trust. This is retraining the pathways of intimacy. 

Of course you’re capable of secure love. What you’re healing is not your ability to love, it’s your ability to receive love without mistaking stillness for danger. Instead of asking, "Am I capable of real, secure love?" try asking,  "Am I willing to keep showing up for the kind of love that doesn’t come with anxiety? Am I willing to rewire how safety feels in my body?