In 'This Is US, Jack says, "I just want to freeze time." He wants more time with the ones he loves. He doesn't know that in the future he will leave them all behind too early. But he feels something deeply. When Jack says, “I just want to freeze time,” he’s speaking the ache that lives inside those of us who’ve tasted love… but not in its full form. Its not just a scene, but a wish for a future through it.

In the holiday episode, watching the family together  ... I want that. I want the traditional, the traditions, the deep love, the connection, the secure and intimate relationship. I feel it within me, and it's what I desire. 

I'm scared of making the wrong choice, living another 30 years of mostly okay, consistent living without the emotions, without the intimacy, without that embracing family with traditions and joy. 

I honor the years I survived with less than I needed. But now, I give myself permission to receive everything I’ve always longed for: Love. Intimacy. Joy. Family. Traditions. Connection. I do not need to fear the wrong choice, because I am becoming the woman who chooses from truth.