She had always been a solitary soul, a quiet observer of the world around her that learned early to fear love becauseit led to abandonment. Beneath her exterior smile, a tempest raged, a storm of emotions she couldn't quite understand. As a child, the crush if heartbreaks had left her scarred. She trusts no one as each scar showed where the pain had chipping away at her ability to trust. She became the cruel architects of her fear, digging a well of despair.
This fear of love intensified to the place where she couldn't compromise the streak of anger that lit everyone that got close on fire. It was a paradox: she craved connection, the warmth of another's embrace, but the very thought of intimacy sent shivers down her spine. That cold night she had lost the most important piece of her heart, througha terrible fire. She had learned to build walls, high and impenetrable, to protect her fragile heart, surrounded by a moat that she filled with rage.
Life became a calculated existence of love and hate. She excelled in her studies, pursued a path that required deep dedication and physical pain. Surrounded by the routines that her early adulthood had found solace in. Routine gave her a simple predictable rhythm, yet it also bored her psyche. Nothing brought her close enough to the type of joy you can hold onto. Deep down, that longing persisted in pulling her back to old patterns.
One day, as ahe started to find stability,, the whispering doubts, painted a vivid picture of heartbreak and betrayal. As she was torn between the safety of solitude and the risk of love, the fear won. She pushed her safety away, retreating into her solitary existence.
She had chosen safety over love, a decision that would haunt her for years to come. She had traded the possibility of joy for the certainty of loneliness. As she walked away, she carried the weight of her choice, a heavy burden that would forever shape her destiny.
As I watched her do this, my heart broke for her, but I knew I had already cut my karmic cords and her path was not mine to save.
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