You

To pierce with eyes, and withdraw my soul is not an easy task

Accept the lies and deeply conflicted emotions underneath the daunting mask

I, my love, see you in spaces that never can hide your gaze

In turn, I speak outwardly truth in a desire to just finally have seen it through 

Forgot how much your pain cost us, as I lived inside the realm

Now, I see that the heart can only withstand so much, before you let in something else

I lie to myself that love will return, the lips that I seek have found other turns

I lie to my heart that the pain will not bury itself into spaces where I can never be yours

Yet, when I hear the sounds of love in the songs, the birds, the cosmic rays of life

I know that my heart shall always be yours, and therefore I am death beyond your sights. 

-Barbara Christensen 

I fear my oldest fur baby is at the edge of the rainbow bridge. It is only in these moments of reality that I fear that to know my heart cost too much.  Would it not be better to have lived in lies to provide what I could to him, his brother, their human sibling. Was it too much to ask for my own happiness, to be truly loved in the way that the divine has coded us? 

Why, we wonder, is there cause and effect that if we seek to be given we must make space. It seems so unfair. I know, the space is how we open, but like you, I often wonder if the Pandora should have remained closed. Keeping all the desires hidden away like the trauma that lead me through life. Yet, how many lives did I take to say that I deserve to be safe, desires to be loved, and was made to seek joy?? 

My daughter during our drive the other day introduced me to Sleep Token and Take Me Back To Eden. 

The lyrics I get in this energy is:

"I guess it goes to show, does it not?

That we've no idea what we've got until we lose it

And no amount of love will keep it around

If we don't choose it"

Spiritually Vessel is learning what was always within, through the process of being separated from the love. Which is beautiful in the same way as light. We lose ourselves in the darkness and we walk through the fire to find if there is a way back to that sacred fulfillment. Divinity... light ... love is always with you and I. That path once awakened is not easy. It isn't just the moment of life that you realize you want to go back to Eden, it is the moment you realize all of life is the awakening. Life is our lesson. Wholeness is life and here we are death in some ways. Love is the seed to awaken back in Eden, but when we return we will be beyond that, as our experience grows exponentially.