Every day is about healing. We don't know where the next moment will take us, but we don't always have to know. If I knew 3 years ago that this month in therapy I would open the deep dark scary shadows of my soul, and be seen not in judgment, but in kindness  - I still may have decided against therapy. Healing brings up all of the shame for the things that you were not responsible for, but we're damaged by. Those that hurt you, they will never feel the remorse, but you still carry that pain. 

Healing .... it let's you release that which was never yours to carry. 

Along this path I have started dating. I dated the first time for revenge. It was nice and sweet for a short time. I dated the second time thinking I was ready, and holy shit, I was not. This is something I never really did. This time I am ready to be 'dated' because I need to have a deep connection. 

I always went into deep relationships, but I never had the dating experience. I am learning to be open to saying no. No, you aren't what I am looking for. No, you don't match up to what I know I want in my heart. No, you aren't the one. Three years ago, I couldn't have given that to myself. I couldn't have been honest. The honesty is that in part I see that where this image of the love I desire lives in my mind, body, and heart, and deserves the chance to seek out that frequency and not take less than that. I have been shown what I want. Unrequited as it was, it doesn't change that it was everything I wanted with the exception of the inability to love me in return.

This is not to say that the unrequited love that I have experienced in this life didn't (and doesn't) mean something to me. In the end, the fact that I could love someone so deeply despite their ability to love back, that's an amazing feat. That matters. That's a powerful part of the healing. If I can love that - I can learn to love me. 

Let go of the idea that your love was painful. Your love was teaching you what was within waiting for you all this time.